Ever since John Montagu, the fourth Earl of Sandwich, invented “meat between two slices of bread” so he could keep eating while gambling his life away, there’s been something of a food arms race pitting all of humanity against one another. The goal: learn just how much a person can feasibly fit between two pieces of bread and still call it a sandwich. What follows is a staggering example of the insanity of today’s cooks and consumers. Because obviously, they wouldn’t be making these ginormous sandwiches if no one was eating them, right? The Earl would be proud. And maybe a little grossed out.